Saturday, November 18, 2017

Ep 16: How Religion Screws Sex - Part 2

https://reallifebeyondfaith.podbean.com

In this episode we read some read some responses from listeners who share how religion negatively affected their lives. There will be a part 3 to the sex topic. This is turning into a series!

Jenica's blog post about sex from 2105: http://www.reallifebeyondfaith.com/2015/05/sex-beyond-belief.html

Find us:
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/reallifebeyondfaith/
Twitter @RLBF https://twitter.com/RLBFpod
Email - reallifebeyondfaith@gmail.com
Patreon https://www.patreon.com/reallifebeyondfaith

Sunday, November 12, 2017

Ep 15: How Religion Screws Sex - Part 1

https://reallifebeyondfaith.podbean.com

Religion often has damaging effects on healthy sexuality and the ideologies surrounding sex within most religious doctrines leads to a great deal of guilt and shame. We talk about our own experiences with sexual shame and guilt in this episode. In our next episode, we'll hear from listeners who submitted their own input on the damages of religion on sex.


Find us:
Twitter @RLBFpod https://twitter.com/RLBFpod
Email - reallifebeyondfaith@gmail.com

Ep 14: Marissa Alexa McCool - activist

https://reallifebeyondfaith.podbean.com

This week we have our first interview on our show with Marissa Alexa McCool! Ris is a podcaster, activist, author, public speaker, columnist, blogger and transgender woman. She's also a friend and we were really honored to have her on the show. We'll be guests on her show, Inciting Incident Podcast soon as well, so keep an eye out for that!

Find more info about Ris at http://rismccool.com/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/RisMcCool
Twitter:  @RisMcCool
Find us:
Twitter @RLBFpod https://twitter.com/RLBFpod

Saturday, October 28, 2017

Ep 13: Why won't we just shut up? - Activism


This episode is about why we're activists. We discuss the question we sometimes receive, "Why do you have to talk about your atheism so much?"
#NormalizeAtheism
Find us:
Email - reallifebeyondfaith@gmail.com

Check out this episode!

Friday, October 20, 2017

Ep 12: Christian and Atheist Questions


A friend shared with us a couple buzzfeed articles that had Christians asking questions to people who believe evolution to be true in one of them and, in the other, had people who believe evolution asking questions to Christians. We thought it was interesting and discuss several of the questions from both sides in this episode.

We also talk about our thoughts on the #metoo campaign to raise awareness of sexual harassment, assault and rape.


Check out this episode!

Thursday, October 12, 2017

Ep. 11: Nails in the Coffin of Belief


Nails in the Coffin of Belief
In this episode, Patrick and Jenica explore reasons why people stop believing in a god.

Atheists Fight Hunger http://atheistpa.org/donations/atheists-fight-hunger/
"Fight the hungry!"

Find us:
Facebook https://www.facebook.com/reallifebeyondfaith/
Twitter @RLBFpod https://twitter.com/RLBFpod
Email - reallifebeyondfaith@gmail.com
Patreon https://www.patreon.com/reallifebeyondfaith
 
Jenica's post on facebook for listener feedback: https://www.facebook.com/jenica.crail/posts/10103241161508542?pnref=story

Check out this episode!

Thursday, October 5, 2017

Ep 10: The Mythinformation Conference Debacle


We kind of veer off our typical topics this week to discuss Jenica's experience at the controversial Mythinformation Conference in Milwaukee.
 
Serious Inquiries Only podcast: http://seriouspod.com/
Find us:
Email - reallifebeyondfaith@gmail.com

Check out this episode!

Tuesday, October 3, 2017

Ep #9: Coming Out


On this week's episode, Patrick and Jenica talk about coming out - both their experiences coming out and some advice on how, when and why to do so. They also talk about the NFL's "take a knee" situation, they read and discuss an evangelical handout/pamphlet, and Jenica talks about her experience at a Rally for Racial Justice she attended.

Atheists Fight Hunger http://atheistpa.org/donations/atheists-fight-hunger/

Find us:

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/reallifebeyondfaith/

Twitter @RLBFpod https://twitter.com/RLBFpod

Email - reallifebeyondfaith@gmail.com

Patreon https://www.patreon.com/reallifebeyondfaith


Check out this episode!

Friday, September 22, 2017

Ep 8: Q&A Episode - part 2


Patrick and Jenica tackle the second half of the questions submitted by listeners, but first they talk briefly about the end of the world and drama in the atheist movement.
 
Find us:
Email - reallifebeyondfaith@gmail.com

Check out this episode!

Thursday, August 3, 2017

Starting a Podcast!



The idea of starting a podcast has been simmering in the back of my mind for a while now. One of the most influential activities for me upon leaving religion was listening to podcasts. I learned SO MUCH and gained insight I wouldn't have otherwise had. I started to think that I would love to be able to have that kind of impact on someone else by sharing my story and experiences. That is why I started getting involved in the atheist/secular/skeptical community. Whatever you want to call it.

First I started this blog, which I, admittedly, have been rather inactive on. Then I started meeting people online and was invited to share my story on several podcasts such as, Secular Sexuality, No Religion Required, Dogma Debate, The Zachrilege Cast and The Thinking Atheist. I found that, even though I enjoy writing and am reasonably good at it, I don't often find the time and quiet I need to actually sit down and write. I can get my thoughts out more quickly and possibly more effectively by talking and, especially, conversing. Podcasting is also an easier medium for many people to consume because it can be completely discreet and allows them to do other things while listening. That has always been what I love so much about podcasts and audiobooks. I'm a busy wife and mother and I need to be multi-tasking pretty much non-stop. To sit down and read something is terribly inconvenient (though necessary at times). I totally get it and want to provide that medium to those who are interested in hearing what I have to say.

I wasn't originally thinking that Patrick would be involved in my podcast if I ever started one because he didn't seem very interested in activism. He had traveled the journey along with me, for the most part, but was a lot less passionate about it. We just have different personalities in that way. Well, he's recently gotten a lot more interested in activism and wants to be involved in the stuff I'm doing and it's been really fun to do things together! This past weekend, speaking with him at the Secular Saturday Convention, about supporting loved ones through deconversion, was really fun! He's an amazing person with wonderful insights to share. He's excited, along with me, to start this podcast and get our voices and our story out there in hopes that it could help someone in some way.

Things really got rolling with the podcast idea when our friend, Chris Watson of The Podunk Polymath Podast, came for a visit recently and we shared with him that we had considered starting a podcast, but weren't really sure if it would actually be successful or if we would have enough content. He greatly encouraged us to do it and all but guaranteed us that we'd be successful at it. We were still skeptical, but it got us thinking some more. Well, shortly after that, Chris posted on Facebook about Patrick and I "hypothetically" starting a podcast and there was a significant response to it, which kind of blew me away! People actually want to hear what we have to say? They would support us financially? Holy shit! Maybe we could do this!

The biggest obstacle, though, was the cost of getting started. We would need to get equipment such as, mics, interface, pop filters, headsets, a podcast hosting platform, etc. It all seemed a bit overwhelming, but we were starting to plan to get a few things here and there and eventually get started. Well, at the Ark Encounter protest that Patrick and I attended together, our friends Brittany and Johnny Pike gave us a podcasting package that had a mic, mic stand, interface and headset! With that we were more than halfway there! So we got another mic and a few other things on Amazon and suddenly we had all the hardware we needed! We seriously have the best friends!

We've received so much encouragement and advice. It's truly amazing and overwhelming. I'm very excited to get started and see where this takes us. Hopefully we don't totally suck at it! Haha. It'll be fun even if we do though.

Thank you to all of those who have encouraged us and supported us in making this decision! It wouldn't be happening without your support! We've already had people pledging support on our Patreon page even before we've officially launched any episodes! That blows me away!

Find/Contact us:
Facebook: www.facebook.com/reallifebeyondfaith
Twitter: @RLBFpod
Email: reallifebeyondfaith@gmail.com
Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/reallifebeyondfaith

Sunday, May 7, 2017

The Mom Delusion

Sometimes I hate being a mom...

Just thinking that makes me feel awful and here I am writing it down for all to see. I don't usually voice this feeling because I never want to come off sounding ungrateful or for those of us with no sense of nuance to think I mean that I hate being a mom ALL the time. That is certainly not the case.

However, there are those days, and sometimes weeks, in which I feel overwhelmed, frustrated, irritable and tired of hearing "Mommy!" I get tired of being needed all the time. It's exhausting. At home I'm needed by my kids, my husband and my pets and at work I'm needed by customers (server/bartender). If I get around to my own needs it a huge accomplishment!

What I've realized lately is that there is nothing wrong with feeling this way. I don't have to be perfect for everyone. I had an idea in my head when I decided that I was 'ready' to be a mom and I now refer to that idea as the 'mom delusion.' I thought that, in some way, becoming a mother would complete me or would give meaning to my life. I thought that I would be amazing at parenting and not make any of the mistakes I've seen other parents make. I thought I'd be able to make my children behave and listen to me. Excuse me while I laugh hysterically at that one. Hahahahahahahaha!

Also, as a Christian woman at the time, I believed that a woman's purpose in life was to be a godly wife and mother. Now I know that we each create our own purpose and it can take so many amazing forms. Being a mom doesn't have to be one of those (or a wife for that matter). A woman without children is not less of a woman.

When I came to that realization I had to ask myself the questions, "Do I regret having kids?" "Am I one of those women who would have thrived without children holding her back from her accomplishments?" "Does my depression and anxiety prevent me from being a good mother?" "Am I just passing my mental illness on to the next generation?" Ultimately, the answer to those questions doesn't change the fact that I already have kids, but it was a really difficult thing for me to face, at the time. I concluded that if I had never had kids I would have lived the rest of my life wishing that I had. My boys have been a challenge for me (mostly due to my mental illness and difficulty coping), but more than that they have brought unspeakable joy to my life. I do not regret having them.

I would like to address this 'mom delusion' though (it could also easily be the 'dad delusion'). Before we have kids of our own we all think we know what parenting is going to be like and what it's going to mean for our lives. We read a couple parenting books and think we have all the answers. We listen to pastors and mentors in our lives who tell us that children are a blessing from God and that it will enrich our lives. As young women, we're taught that we were created to bear and nurture children. And so on and so forth... We all have different ideas and expectations. This is just a general list of some of the things I believed or was taught.

The truth of the matter is that every single person is different and their skills, their needs and their purpose are different from one person to the next. Parenting is hard and should be approached with respect and fear by prospective parents. Some people are more equipped with the skills and patience needed to be wonderful parents and some people should stick to what they're good at and not be pressured by family, friends or anyone else to have children that they don't want.

I used to think that I wanted a large family of at least 4 or 5 kids. I realized, after dropping my 'mom delusion,' that I was quite happy with just my 2 beautiful boys and that was plenty for me. I no longer believe I'm called to bear fruit and populate the Earth. It turns out that the Earth is already over-populated! I'm going to turn my attention to my 2 boys and try to help them to become the best humans they can possibly be and, in the process, they will probably help me to become the best human I can be.

Sometimes I love being a mom...